what are you going to do with your remaining sunrises?
for me, i only felt the gravity of this concept when i input my
mother's birthday. she fell ill when i was young, and i've spent
my entire life subconsciously preparing for (dreading?) her
death- i fear it. i fear it so deeply that i've learned to keep
my distance from the people i love most (a habit i must now
unlearn).
since we have not experienced death, i'm not sure that we can
truly respect it. even in our imagined deaths, we are spectators. we go on about our days as if we are immortal, and
it is through this denial of death that we constrict ourselves.
modern society’s obsession with lengthening to-do lists is
bizarre. we’ve even rebranded this incessant busyness as
“hustling,” a lifestyle choice worth boasting about.
an easy life is not equivalent to a simple one, and to want
little is, in fact, much. with 4000 weeks, i still have
strangers to befriend, relationships to mend, and a sorry to speak. i don't want to wait until i don't care anymore... maybe
once I can embrace the certainty of death, I'll finally live.
